Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
