My girlfriend figured out who you are.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
