Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
