3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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