Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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