I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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