the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Randomize
