dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
