Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
