just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
