Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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