Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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