did you get engaged???
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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