its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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