yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm passing your future prison.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
