I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
