2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
