he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
