Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
