Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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