ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
