just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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