i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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