Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
