I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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