It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
