I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
