Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
