Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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