After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
