I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
