Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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