Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize