the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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