Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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