Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
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