Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
