no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
