She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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