hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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