wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
