guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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