HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
