So drunk its hurt
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
