I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
