He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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