sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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