And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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