just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
