Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's just like the Real World with babies
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
