hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
